Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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