i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
