How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
