Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize