were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
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And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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