Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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