WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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