Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
