What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize