idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
