i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
