awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Acid is not a monday night drug
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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