party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
