mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
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there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
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Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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