that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
