this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
