Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
