from now on my penis is your penis
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
