I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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