TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
