Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
