You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
