let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
