I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
