yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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