Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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