Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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