I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
either way he was missing a nipple.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
