can u get pink eye on your cock?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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