Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
only if we run a train.
done.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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