I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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