Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I faked an abortion last night.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
