Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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