I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
