Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
