i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
