He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
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I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
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She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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