you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
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Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
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Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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