I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize