i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
