I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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