Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize