You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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