I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I want her autograph on my taint
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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