Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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