i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
