The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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