didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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