No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
