i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
