Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
