I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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