It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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