He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
