Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
