Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
