She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We were destined to go to rehab together
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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